Boy Racer: ‘Someone who thinks it’s clever to spend £5,000 tarting up a £50 piece of crap that is one MOT away from the junk yard’ – Urban Dictionary
It’s Wednesday night, you’ve eaten your tea, watched ‘Come Dine With Me’ and are more than ready to get into bed. However in the distance you can hear that irritating thudding which can only mean one thing, there’s either a T-Rex in the cul-de-sac or there’s a fleet of boy racers on their way through your area.
You know you shouldn’t encourage them but you can’t help but take a glance out the window, as they get closer, to see what hideous automobile is outside. Maybe you have a son or daughter who is looking for a car and their preferred choice is somewhat questionable, maybe this is because they are a secret girl or boy racer. If you suspect you are helping a boy racer, take a look at the top ten boy racer cars and stop them in their tracks before you are stuck with the drone of their music for the next few years and can’t even take advantage of a free lift to the local pub.
10. Fiat Cinquecento
‘The Inbetweeners’ series pulled this one out of the bag, as the perfect car for first time drivers and showed some memorable experiences taking place in it to say the least. First made in 1998 it became the car to own if you wanted something which was not only a roller skate but also great on petrol due to the small engine size. The vehicle only weighs a reported 727kg making it a speedy little number. Purchasing one of these micros and adding a double exhaust may get you boy racer points, but may also cause laughter amongst the ‘crew’ who regularly meet on retail park car parks and are way too old to be showing off at McDonalds.
Boy Racer rating– 2 cheeseburgers X Special D – ‘Come With Me’
A car approved to be built by Henry Ford II himself in 1972 and hilariously named the ‘Bobcat’. Released to the public in 1977 with front wheel drive the car became a national hit and has sold an estimated 12 million since it was released. The fourth generation Ford Fiesta grasped the boy racer scene with both hands until the release of the fifth generation which included go faster stripes which promoted the car as something sporty for the younger generation. The fifth generation is also surprisingly the best selling Ford Fiesta ever made. Maybe there are more poser drivers with orange tans than first expected, out after dark, loudly emitting thudding dance music, rather worrying especially if you like your sleep as much as I do!
Boy Racer rating– 2 double cheese burgers X N Trance ‘Set you free’
The first generation of the Fiat Punto is one of the likely candidates for the boy racer due to the endless amounts of car mods available. The vehicle was also voted ‘European Car of The Year’ in 1995. Other models of the car have also been highly successful, such as the sport model which was available in two different engine sizes. For the girl racers a convertible Fiat Punto was also released in 1994. The second generation facelift has also proved successful, displaying a slightly more angular shape.
The obvious Fiat Punto to purchase to cruise around in is the first generation as they are much easier to modify. Even though LEDS are illegal in the UK it doesn’t stop Jack the Lad putting some neon lights on his car, blacking out the windows and lowering it within an inch of its life. Oh and adding a bigger skirt! No not a Ra-Ra!
Boy Racer Rating– 3 cheeseburgers + chicken nuggets X Bass Hunter ‘Now You’re Gone’
The second generation Clio Sport is another car growing in popularity in the category of cars speeding down dual carriageways. Released in 1998 the Renault Clio was originally modestly priced, less expensive materials were used to save on repair costs and the front wings were made of plastic. This would usually put people off a vehicle, however, this provides the perfect opportunity for boy racers to add a body kit.
The car was made and sold inexpensively but this raised some publicity issues and in April 2006 ‘Watchdog’ explained how the bonnets of the Clio had been flying off without warning. Renault did respond stating that this was the result of the bonnet catch not being completely cleaned when the Clio went through a service. I have come to the conclusion that this isn’t an issue for boy racers as all they want to do is rip it off and replace it with a huge body kit, which subsequently means slowing down for speed bumps. A slight contradiction if you want to be a ‘racer’.
Boy Racer Rating– A chicken burger + a Mc Flurry + chips X Ultrabeat- ‘Pretty green eyes’
6. Peugeot 106
An early 90’s child, the first generation is not normally the vehicle which subwoofer fans buy, however the phase two which was released in 1991 is. This may be due to the endless body kit options there are or the fact that you can drop the body so low, it resembles a pregnant skateboard! There is literally an engine for any budding roundabout drifter, from the 1 litre to the 1.6 litre. You can literally add suicide doors, gull wings or get an awesome spoiler. This car seems to be able to handle every mod under the sun, maybe even get a furry interior!
Boy Racer Rating– A student cheesburger + 9 chicken nuggets X Cascada – ‘Every Time We Touch’
The number of souped-up Saxos is growing. Get your roll cage and your bucket seats cleaned and ready to fit. If you’re a boy racer connoisseur you will be looking to put your own unique spin on the Saxo.
A compact car, released in 1996 which has slowly become the ultimate choice for those wanting to impress their friends. Weighing in at only 965 lbs, makes it desirable for those wanting to recreate ‘Need for Speed’ or ‘The Fast and The Furious’. You may have even seen Saxos with the odd sticker on the back, this is totally normal, don’t be scared, just be happy that you don’t get a kick out of pearlescent paint or Max power stickers. The Saxo is slowly becoming the king of boy racer mobiles, so expect one to be coming to a road near you.
Boy Racer Rating– A Big Mac + large chips + a chocolate milkshake X 3 of A Kind- ‘Baby Cakes”
4.Renault 5 GT Turbo
Sometimes referred to in cool slang as an ‘R5’ it does look suspiciously like a Vauxhall Nova. The Renault 5 was first released in 1971 and if you own one of these today at 17 you really are driving an original boy racer transportation device. There were numerous models ranging from the Alpine Turbo to the standard Turbo which is most popular with Lewis Hamilton wannabes.It was released in 1985 with a tuned four cylinder, eight valve engine, giving 0-60mpg in just under 8 seconds. The price of owning one of these beauties ranges from a couple of hundred pounds to way over‚Â£15,000 for a mint condition model which has low mileage. From what I can gather no-one really wants to drive these cars, since mileages on them always seem to be very low, despite some of them being over 20 years old!
Boy Racer Rating– A Quater Pounder + 6 chicken nuggets X Dizzee Rascal- ‘Bonkers’
3.Ford Escort mark 5
From 1990 this car has been popular up and down the country, firstly with families, who saw the benefits of a mid-sized car for transporting their offspring.The car did, however, receive a less than friendly welcome because of the styling of both the exterior and the interior. Once the convertible was released there was no stopping the younger generation wanting to jump into the driving seat. You’ve also probably seen one upside down and on fire.
Boy Racer Rating– A Quarter Pounder + Chicken Mayo + a medium fries X Kelly Llorenna- ‘Tell It To My heart’
If you’re young and want to play ‘Top Trumps’ with your other racer mates this will beat the competition without even revving the engine. If you are looking for a Japanese import this is the perfect car. There are two disadvantages to this car (well possibly more!), but standing in the way of you driving away in this beauty is the high cost of insurance for young drivers and the potential that you might look like an absolute loser if you can’t get insured on one of these until you have been driving for a long period of time, which rather defeats the boy racer feel. There has been an outburst recently of the not-so-boy-racers pulling up at the traffic lights and attempting to race you ridiculously in their Skylines!
The rear of the car is one its most distinguishing features. The cost of the insurance especially for a new driver can actually be much more than the purchase price of the car, making you short of pocket, which seems to defeat the object of purchasing one because you won’t be able to fill it with petrol to try and race with anyone. There’s no denying that this car is fast and slightly more attractive than the other cars on the list but is it really worth blowing more than an average mortgage deposit just to slap one on your drive? Even if you had the money, you will probably find that no insurance company will insure a new driver. Stick to a smaller engine size and get some stickers, maybe even Max Power ones…
Boy Racer Rating– A Big Mac + A chicken Mayo + 6 cheicken Nuggets X XTM- ‘Fly On The Wings Of Love’
One of the many heavily pimped out cars you will have seen sporting glittery pink paint and spoilers bigger than church doors. The Nova was actually called the the Vauxhall Cora A, but don’t be fooled by its sensible shape, there is definitely room for a huge spoiler or some very questionable dustbin alloys. Not only popular with boy racers this is also one for the ladies. The most popular choice is the 3 door as it looks slightly less square and more sporty looking. This is possibly the number one fast laner for the younger generation. The 1989 model is one of the more popular models of the Vauxhall Nova.
If you want to shield your love of ultimately “chavtastic” cars I suggest you don’t actually buy one, as your parents or loved ones may get the hint quicker than you can imagine! Even more so if you add a few inches on the skirt and insist on only having light people in the back to avoid scraping it on speed bumps!
Boy Racer Rating– A Big Mac + 20 Chicken nuggets + a strawberry milkshake X Clubland Classix ‘Forever Young’
We know this isn’t a car you’re going to see every time you stop off at your local Co-op but it really is the original boy racer car. Created for the musical feature Grease, in which John Travolta wears incredibly tight trousers, the vehicle has silver paint, blue lightening bolts and a convertible roof.This is the number one boy racer car for the young at heart, looking to make an impression with the opposite sex! On the other hand we can’t see hundreds of 17 year olds running out to buy a leather jacket, tight pants and doing a musical number. Let’s face it, it is unlikely you will see it on the M6. Let’s just leave it down to Danny Zuko!